Early Morning Service

I remember waking up as a child, rolling over, rubbing my eyes, and trying to make out the red bright letters on the alarm clock next to my bed... 7:00 AM was way too early unless it was a school day. "Please let mom and dad still be asleep and not waking us up for church today" I remember thinking. I just wanted to sleep in. That didn't happen very often.

 

Today, I woke up, and wanted to go to church. I woke up around 7:15 to baby Trent wanting attention, and the first thought was church. My second thought was how I wish Xavier was with me to go too. Then I wondered if his dad ever takes him on Sunday's. My third thought was wondering if my husband would actually go with me. I looke dup mass times and told him one was at 8:30 and I wanted to go. He said "ok" but I don't think he really believed I'd get up and go. I have said I wanted to go before, in fact, I have wanted to go for a while now but just keep putting it off. There's always an excuse...

 

We got ready and off we went, the first time as husband and wife, and with our newborn too attending church. We happened to go on a Sunday where it seemed like 70% of mass was them asking for money. I know it's not always like this, but I admit it did get a bit frustrating. 20 minutes were spent filling out forms to give to perishes for money. I enjoyed going though. I enjoyed the service, the mass, the comfort. I enjoyed looking around and the singing, the praising, praying, and that warm feeling I ALWAYS get when I go to church. I walked out feeling good. It was a good way to start my Sunday.

 

It is not up to us to force our children to believe what we do. But it certainly is up to us as parents to instill morals into our children, and to teach them the scripture, then as they get older, let them choose for themselves. My parents never forced me as I grew up. There were many Sunday's I skipped as a teenager but many that I atteneded willingly too. I have never regretted it.

 

I have never understood an atheist. As I am sure they will never understand me as a Christian. In all honesty, I have always thought to myself - "If I believe in God and die tomorrow, and he wasn't there, I'd be ok. But if I died tomorrow and never believed, I would have nothing." It doens't hurt to have faith in something better, something beautiful, paradise... and to have faith in someone that loves us eternally. That faith has gotten me through my darkest days, and death. Without thinking and knowing in my heart that Heaven were real, I'd be lost. Knowing those I love are just beating me home to a wonderful paradise, has kept me strong. Even if I die tomorrow and if it were all just a make believe fairy tale in my head throughout this life I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING. I can look into my chidlren's eyes, and know that something beautiful is out there waiting to welcome us home one day. I can look at the pain and suffering we all endure in this life and I know this cannot be everything there is. There has to be more. I know there is more.

 

Although I am not the most dedicated Christian, I certainly would love to get back on that path. I would love to raise my children with good morals, and with faith. I would love to learn more about the scripture and I admit I need to pray way more than I do, not just when I want something.

 

I have a beautiful life, healthy, happy, and beautiful little boys. A wonderful husband that would do anything for us, and I know... that is thanks to God, because I certainly never deserved it.